People are People

Liars go to hell. Is this true? If this is true, then why do people lie? That is the big question!
I bet Interpersonal Deception Theory of David Buller and Judee Burgoon can be a helpful tool in finding answers.

I remember when I was in first year high school. My father talked to me about a very serious matter: ARMANDO. He was the boy that my parents thought was my boyfriend! I was very nervous then because even though he was not my boyfriend, we shared something special. I was really afraid that my father would be very angry. I remember I was giving senseless answers. Then my father told me “...anak, ang trust parang crystal ball, kapag yan nabasag ay hindi mo na mababalik sa dati.Mabalik mo man pero may lamat na. Kaya ikaw ingatan mo yang pagtitiwala ko sa iyo.” Those words were tattooed on my mind and in my heart.

Since then all my interpersonal relationships were based on trust. But I admit that telling the truth all the time is a very difficult thing to do.

After discussing Interpersonal Deception Theory, I realized that big or small lies can greatly affect a relationship.

I have difficulty in detecting if the person I have a relationship with is telling the truth or not since trust is the foundation of most of my interpersonal relationhsips. Nonverbal cues can be very helpful in spotting a deceptive message but I often rely on my instincts. Though I know that my instincts are not accurate.The 18 propositons of Buller and Burgoon were all true but can be applicable in different situations.

When I am not telling the truth, I usually drop the important details(concealment) and my statements are uncertain and vague (uncertainty and vagueness). My statements are like this because I don't want my answers to lead to more questions and so on.

I agree that in deception, the sender and/or receiver engage in strategic deception. May you be a sender or the receiver,you participate on the interaction. The theory is a complicated one. Though Buller and Burgoon presented the theory the best way they can, I appreciate more the simple model of Steven McCormack because it simplified the complexities of the subject.

I am confused if I agree with Bella De Paulo's critique or not. De Paulo and her colleagues fail to spot an explanatory glue(Griffin) they were looking for. However, it is true that Buller and Burgoon offered multiple mechanisms to link the many variables that affect interpersonal deception(Griffin).

I think communication scholars are relatively silent about its moral implications because it is part of the nature of communication. But ethical stands exist, since not all of us share the same religious beliefs, I would require to others Immanuel Kant's categorical imperative. As for me, I would pick Augustine's Divine Will because I value my religious convictions.

All I can say that why make life so complicated if you can make it simple? Lying cannot do you any good. So abstain from doing it!